Dear Thriving Design Firm,
I am responding to your inquiry for an experienced copywriter who will exchange hours for the use of your office space.
I would kindly suggest that your ad was mislabeled. “Freelance Copywriter” implies that some payment might be involved.
As an experienced professional copywriter with the highest standards of accuracy, I would propose amending the title of your ad to something along the lines of “Volunteer Copywriter.” I believe “volunteer” is the correct term for someone who agrees to perform a service for free.
I would further suggest that even a volunteer could reasonably expect a “thriving” place of business to provide a workspace in which to perform a free service.
As to your kind offer of a window desk… It just so happens, I already have a window desk where I do all kinds of free work. At home.
If you would like to come over and design some stuff for me (gratis, of course), I will let you use it.
For future reference, there are many cheap freelance writing sources that will charge you only pennies per word. Good luck with these “writers,” however. Anyone willing to sell their services for so little has questionable ability.
If you really want an experienced professional copywriter, SimplyHired.com suggests that the average salary is $63K.
Thanks again for your hilarious offer.
Sincerely,
RJ
Strongly Worded Letters 
That must be one nice window desk if I would want to work all day just to sit there. I mean, does it have a stocked mini bar attached to it, cable tv, and a chocolate fountain that flows endlessly? Is my chair actually a one person hot tub with massaging jets and lavender scented bubbles? Even so, I would be WORKING which means…show me the money.
True. That might almost be worth it. But I’d still be at work. I want a paycheck.
As always, love it.
Thanks!
per usual, hilarious and true. you have a gift.
“With a contemporary decor, music in the background, and calming natural light from the floor to ceiling windows, creativity flows organically.”
With language like this, why do they need to hire another copywriter anyway? LOL